


you're insecure (don't know what for)

by SilvCyanide



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Insecurities, M/M, late night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 03:18:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9697346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilvCyanide/pseuds/SilvCyanide
Summary: Sometimes, the insecurities get the better of Tooru.Those times, Hajime's there for him.





	

Hajime is woken up from the pretty nice dream he was having (in which he was taller than Oikawa and it is the other boy on the receiving end of the short jokes) by an almost inaudible sniffle, and he groans as he rubs at his bleary eyes with one hand. The room is shrouded in darkness with only a watery beam of moonlight trickling in through the gap in the curtains to illuminate the room, so it must still be night time, and Hajime is about to dismiss what he heard as a figment of his imagination when there's another sniffle.

Pushing back the covers of the borrowed futon, Hajime pushes his unwilling body into a sitting position, aching muscles from the harsh training earlier that day crying in protest the whole way. Oikawa is curled up and facing the wall, childish alien-print covers wrapped around his trembling form so tightly he appears little more than a purple lump with brown hair sprouting from one end. A particularly loud sniffle has Hajime instantly wide-awake and worried about his boyfriend-slash-best friend, and he scrambles up the side of the bed to sit on the edge. Hajime's first thought is that Oikawa's knee is acting up again, but Oikawa doesn't react when the bed sinks under the additional weight, and he's not clutching at his knee either.

So it's not his knee, which means it's most probably something else, and Hajime instantly feels his worry double, because if it's what he's thinking of, this is much more serious than just a painful knee.

Oikawa Tooru is not perfect, though he likes to portray himself as so, and nobody is as clear about this as Hajime. Oikawa has his fair share of insecurities, and it would probably come as a massive surprise if anyone were to find out that his self-esteem is actually pretty dang low. But Hajime knows, and he's the most anxious whenever the doubts come to hound Oikawa once again.

He has to do something about this, because it's breaking his heart to hear Oikawa crying, but before he can fix the problem, he has to find out what's bothering him this time.

Hajime carefully pushes himself closer to Oikawa, wrapping his arms around the other boy, even as Oikawa freezes in his hold, hiccuping softly along with the sobs. Hajime's voice is soft when he asks, "Tooru, what's wrong?"

Tooru shakes his head, but he looks up from where he's buried his face in the blanket, and even in the near-complete darkness Hajime can see that his face is splotchy and covered in tears. His voice is thick and filled with tears, shaky and raspy in that way that rips a hole in Hajime's chest.

"I-it's nothing, I'm fine. It's j-just a stupid thought s-so you can go back to sleep."

It's obviously not nothing if Tooru is this upset, and Hajime simply hugs the other tighter.

"Tooru please, you know you can tell me anything, and I can't just go back to sleep when I know you're hurting."

Tooru rolls around to face him at those words, squirming due to the tightly-wrapped blankets pinning his arms and legs, pressing his face into Hajime's shirt in the center of his chest. Hajime feels his shirt grow damp, but ignores it in favour of placing his chin on the crown of Tooru's head, soft strands tickling his nose. The room dissolves into silence, but Hajime knows that Tooru's just gathering his thoughts, and that he'll speak when he's ready, so he waits patiently, one hand carding through silky brown hair.

"I had a thought, earlier, when I saw you talking with that girl," Tooru begins out of nowhere, voice little more than a low whisper, "about why you would love someone like me, when you could do so much better." He hiccups, but continues, "I mean, it's like you always say, I'm such a selfish asshole most of the time, and I probably make you pissed more often than I make you happy, so how could anyone love me, let alone someone as _good_ as you."

Hajime slowly fills with horror as he realises what Tooru's getting at, and he tenses up involuntarily, at a loss for words. Tooru must have taken the silence as confirmation of his words, because suddenly he's wrenching out of his hold, arms wriggled free from the blanket to push Hajime away.

"You said that you started falling for me three years ago, but the me back then was selfish and immature. How could you have fallen for me three years ago, when the you now probably doesn't love that me anymore."

Hajime swallows hard, the lump in his throat going down painfully. Has Tooru been feeling like this for a long time? Like he couldn't believe why Hajime ever fell in love with him in the first place? It made Hajime feel like he'd fucked up majorly, like he'd failed not just as Tooru's boyfriend, but as his best friend by not even realising he was doubting himself so much. But there would be a time for berating himself later, right now he had to reassure Tooru that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.

"It's true that the me now doesn't love the you three years ago."

Tooru tenses up, and Hajime can tell that he's about to start crying anew, thinking his worst fears have been confirmed, but Hajime forges ahead, not done with what he's saying.

"But that's because I love the you that's here beside me _today_."

Tooru looks up at Hajime at that statement, and Hajime takes the chance to move closer, drawing the other boy into his arms again as he plants a gentle kiss on each of his eyelids, salt from the tears staining his lips.

"I'm not entirely sure exactly when three years ago I fell in love with you, it just kind of happened, but I do know that tomorrow, the me then will love the you of the future."

"So my answer to your question is that, Oikawa Tooru, the me now doesn't love the you of three years ago, but that's because we've both changed as people, and the me now has fallen for the you of today while the me three years ago fell for the you back then. Your immaturity and selfishness makes you, you, and no matter how much I might complain about it, it's still part of _you_ , and I love you because of that."

Each sentence is punctuated with a soft kiss on a part of Tooru's face, his cheeks, chin, forehead, and finally, his lips, swollen from the force of Tooru biting on them.

A small smile appears on Tooru's face, weak and fragile and still the slightest bit sad, but it's genuine, and something inside Hajime's chest loosens up at the sight. Tooru kisses him back, a tender brush of his lips, and murmurs quietly, "I love you too, like how the me of three years ago must have loved you then."

Crying must have obviously tuckered him out, because Tooru drifts back to sleep soon after, and just as he's about to fall asleep, Hajime nuzzles his hair and whispers into his ear, so softly Tooru isn't sure if he imagined it or not.

"I love you, because you've never doubted that you've always loved me."

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to have this up today, so I'm posting it at 3 a.m. and I would also like to take the chance to say that I've restarted the planning for 'Within The Darkness: There Are Eyes' and the next part of 'Stillframe Scenarios' but I can't promise when they'll be out.


End file.
